The perfect moms filling your Instagram feed, also referred to as momfluencers, aren't as perfect as they seem. In fact, there's a whole list of life and parenting things that momfluencers would never tell you through popular social media platforms.
We're debunking all the myths surrounding Instagram mom perfection and showing you just how much you may actually have in common with mom influencers in your feed.
What Are Momfluencers?
You probably don't remember when or why you followed the account. Chances are you hoped the perfect woman on the other side of your screen would help you craft a more perfect life yourself. But now when you scroll through Instagram or open Facebook all you see is a daily reminder of where you think you're falling short as a mom. We get it: the social media mom comparison is very real.
A "momfluencer" is a mom who shares much of her personal life, interests, and parenting takes on a social media platform. Momfluencers can be:
- Bloggers
- YouTube personalities
- Social media influencers
- Even regular moms who use social media as a hobby and an outlet
What seems to set them apart from other moms -- you know, those of us who have to take it all day-by-day -- is that they appear to do everything perfectly and look glamorous while doing it.
Though mom influencers may hope to offer encouragement, real-life advice, or just a break from real life at times, their perfect presence on social media is something to be mindful of. One study suggests that women are far more likely to compare themselves to others on social media, making momfluencers an important cultural impact every mom should be aware of.
Even when the intentions are good on the part of the influencer, the effects of scrolling perfect photos on social media can still take root in our lives.
It's okay to unfollow social media accounts that negatively impact your mental health and to take regular social media breaks.
Another study pointed out that even the awareness of the social media comparison trap for parents does not entirely prevent the tendency to compare. It's important that you understand most mom influencers aren't just posting their daily lives. Rather, they are working hard to maintain an image for their career and taking every step necessary to create an ideal that appears unachievable to garner praise online and capture the attention of potential brand partners.
9 Things a Momfluencer Will Never Tell You
If you've ever found yourself doubting your parenting choices, beating yourself up for being less than perfect, or suddenly feeling down about a small detail in your life, you might have been a victim of the mom influencer highlight reels on social media.
These accounts, though many might have good intentions, can add to the pressure you're already feeling as a mom. You should know that even that perfect Instagram mom you admire has more than one thing that's imperfect in her life -- she just isn't sharing it on social media.
1. She's Exhausted
There isn't a mom anywhere that hasn't felt the exhaustion of parenting at some point. The social media mom you long to be like isn't likely to be getting it all done without sacrificing a large amount of rest and sleep. In fact, she's probably not getting it all done because she's exhausted, just like the rest of us.
She's probably up late feeding babies, working late hours to meet deadlines, and blowing through tubes of concealer to hide her dark under eyes. She may show her best moments on social media, but inside, she might be longing to get some serious shuteye.
2. Something Is Giving Somewhere
She might appear to have it all, but the mom influencer filling your feed with perfect photos probably is not balancing her life perfectly. Honestly, who can? She might have a beautiful home, time for tons of self-care, and a large group of friends.
But something is likely giving somewhere. Just like the rest of us humans, balance isn't possible for the Instagram mom in every area of life. If all you see are the things she's doing perfectly, just know that there is something she is struggling with behind the scenes.
3. She Probably Has More Help Than She Lets On
If by some miracle a momfluencer is achieving everything she's set out to do, it could be because she has a ton of help that you don't see. It could be a husband who works from home (or is the primary caregiver for the children), a helpful family member who lives nearby, or hired help that manages everything from a clean home to naptime for the kids.
4. She Doesn't Always Look Like That
We all have designated days for sweatpants and messy buns. Don't let the perfect selfies and extensive wardrobes fool you. Mom Influencers don't always look put together and they deal with things like bloating, acne, wrinkles, and gray roots just like the rest of us.
5. Her Kids Are Not Actually Perfect
You might scroll through your feed and see mom after mom showing off her child's accomplishments, her toddler who eats every vegetable known to man, and her baby who has slept through the night since day one.
Have you ever actually been around a perfectly behaved child? No, because they don't exist. Momfluencers are not better at being moms and their kids are just as unique in strengths and struggles as yours might be.
6. She Has Doubts Too
Every mom doubts her abilities, decisions, and methods at some point in this motherhood journey. Instagram moms are no exception. She may seem sure of herself through the screen, but she has her moments of doubt as well.
We would even dare to guess that at least once in her life she's thought she wasn't a good enough mom. That makes her more relatable, doesn't it?
7. She's Overwhelmed
Every mom has a lot on her plate: raising humans is a pretty big undertaking. Even mom influencers can get overwhelmed with motherhood, career demands, and life in general. She may not always own up to it, but the mom you admire on Instagram probably feels anxious, overwhelmed, and stressed too.
8. She Doesn't Love Everything About Herself
It's so easy to say "if I only looked like her, I would finally be happy." But even the women we think couldn't look more beautiful have body image issues from time to time. Having a healthy view of self takes a lot of work and doesn't happen without some tough body image days here and there.
9. She Gets Insta-Envy Too
You might have more in common with mom influencers than you think. When you're scrolling Instagram and thinking of all the ways you wish to be like someone else, that same influencer is probably doing the exact same thing. If she has a presence on social media, then she is likely to fall into the comparison trap as well.
We Aren't So Different After All
Being a mom is never easy and though we may feel tempted to envy what we see on the screen, deep down we know that every mom has her imperfect moments.
When you're tempted to compare, remember that there is a lot of work that goes into the so-called perfection that's presented on social media. Momfluencers aren't perfect and they are not the motherhood standard you need to live up to. In fact, the only standard of motherhood that matters is your own.
